Even Death is a Gateway to Magic and Freedom.
It was 6:30 in the morning when I was getting ready to go to school, there were some friends, my dad and me in the car. I remember some people came into the garage and put a gun to my grandfather’s head, then feeling waves of nervousness, fear, helplessness. I was terrified of something totally unknown and new, I had so much adrenaline pumping through my body. Everything was collapsing; the beautiful bubble that I used to live in started to vanish, there are things in life that I don’t know about. There was a big wave of energy—a strong sense that everything was about to collapse, that everything had been destroyed.
I knew I had to run and I ran knowing that something strong and powerful was happening. I ran to my room and the only thing I felt was my body shaking and nervous. From the window, I see my dad and the gardener fighting and wrestling with some people. I hear gunshots; I see one of the guys pointing a gun at my dad and shooting. The moment disappears and the only thing I hear is a truck’s squealing tires pulling away. The only thing that comes to my mind is to come back to see what happened.
I see the gardener dead on one side, soulless, empty. Then I see my grandpa lying on the wall, petrified, in shock, without words. And finally, my dad who was next to a wall lying down on the stairs, he was still alive. I embrace him, holding his head while I watch him try to talk to me but he couldn’t talk because the bullets had pierced his lungs and little by little the air was going away.
I so clearly remember his face, I could never forget this moment. It marked my life forever. In his eyes I could see an immense power, an indescribable love—a look of protection and wisdom which transcended everything that I have ever experienced in my short life.
An “I love you with all my soul and I’m so happy that you are safe, everything was worth it for you to be alive.” All of this has a reason for existing, something much greater, beyond my comprehension.
It was like Divine Will was present in all of this, in every action and every moment, a great, powerful presence. Then he died in my arms, his soul left. I was 15 years old when all of this happened. I then realised the men had tried to kidnap. My world was over—fear, uncertainty, questioning, rebellion, anger; all of this and more started to grow in me.
My life before this event was pure magic and discovery with no worries, full of love from my dad and my grandpa and the rest of my family. I never had a mother, she had abandoned me when I was a baby. My family told me she had died. Because of my father’s death, my family was torn apart and I stayed with my grandpa. I nearly committed suicide because of the guilt of knowing that people wanted to kidnap me when the person I loved the most was taken away for a few coins and I was the reason for that.
In the next years I lived alone with my grandpa. Of course my life became chaos. I was into drugs, alcohol, parties, depending on friends and girlfriends because of the need for love. In this world fear was always intense—separation, judgment, power, arrogance were on fire. My life was like this for a long time, but just remembering that moment, the look from my father that told me everything was ok, not to worry and keep walking, would remove everything from my mind. I wanted to find out why this had happened to me.
I felt left behind and alone. I took refuge in my friends, girlfriends and people I knew. I started to be dependent and attach to everything because I couldn’t find support or a guide for life. I decided to dedicate my time to discovering what life is really about and why all of this happened to me. In myself there was the feeling of exploration, to know the unknown. For a long time I tried to find answers to the questions, but one of the main ones was, “What is the real meaning of life? What is all of this? Where do I come in?”
We all search in one way or another; everyone has their own path, with unique experiences. My search took many years, in pain, without answers, totally alone, until one day when I found myself. It was the best day of my life, I was looking for answers, and God everywhere. Just one weekend changed my entire life, the search was over, a feeling of AWE and protection, of Being, of existence, of happiness, of silence, of wellness, was so clear that a total knowingness that everything I have lived and the adventure of life was to discover the awakening. Without truly knowing the depth of the teaching, I kept walking and started to discover thousands of things that were really important for me, for you and for everyone else.
I have found that life is guiding me to my greatest potential. Because of all the experiences, I know that we are here to discover the true meaning of life, what life really is. For some of us it presents itself in different forms to touch different hearts, I know that my life is to help others to find magic in every moment of their lives. Since that instant, life has been a constant exploration of inner peace, unconditional love, consciousness and the eternal now. Living each moment in pure magic and abundance, discovering every eternal moment, where only divinity and the divine play exist.
That is why I’m sharing these words, for inspiration, love, and what is more important, the invitation. Because I know that you want to know more about life, the whys and where to go. In my experience I know that everything that has happened to me and continues to happen is for me to know Thy Self more, explore more, to find out who I really am, truly, without masks, totally open and pure in essence.
A life without limits, without an “I can’t…what is going to happen? I’m afraid”, because none of that exists in the eternal now. I live a life where only playing exists, stress free, without attachments, living innocence like a child with tenderness, openness, gentleness and love. It is worth giving it your all to find and discover it. Everything is worth it so we can play the game of life.
My life is pure joy and unconditional love for everyone, regardless of the situation and what was done—pure unconditional love. I have found that everything starts with oneself, love yourself to love others, help yourself to help others so people can open their eyes to the beauty of the world, of the Self and the divine gifts. I invite you to join us in living a Magic life, simplicity, contentment, fullness, joy, freedom, love, peace, harmony and expansion. It helped me and I know it will help you. The greatest adventure of all is the INFINITE.